That one story I wrote in math
by Norabelle
Summary: This is my very first story, it's sort of like an Artemis Fowl take on Failure to Launch. Just a random idea that occured in math class. A little bit of fluff, please R&R!


Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the crappy plot and my self. Hope that makes you happy. I don't own Sugar, We're going down, either.

It was a normal day. Well to tell the truth, it really wasn't because life is never ever normal at Mariposa Middle School. But we're gonna call it normal just for chuckles. Nora Kari clutched a small blue paper in her hand, walking laboriously up from P.E., in the multi-purpose room. The blue piece of paper said that she needed to go to the office immediately to see Mrs. Brashares, the secretary with a severe personality disorder. She flicked her purple and blonde short hair out of her face, wondering what Mrs. Brashares would want with her, besides to give her detention. She mulled over the possibilities in her head, walking past the Ronald McDonald sitting on his bench, covered with paint chips and being peed on by generations of football players. She pulled open the door to the office feeling the cold rush of air hit her in the face. She closed her eyes for barely a millisecond, enjoying the feeling after trudging across the small campus in 100-degree weather. She strode into the office self confidently; carrying her five foot six, soccer toned, tanned body with pride. Nora glanced the bench to see who else might be in trouble, beside herself. There sat a very pale individual, with dark hair and piercing pale blue eyes. 'Must be new' she thought, priding the fact that she knew everybody on campus. Well, basically everyone knew everyone in a school of 150. Nora squeezed pass him and walked the last to steps to Mrs. Brashares's desk. "Yeah? You guys sent me a blue slip." Nora asked without the normal formalities that other people normally observed when dealing with the temperamental secretary.

"Yes Miss. Kari. We have a new student, and he has been assigned to you to show around." Said Mrs. Brashares glaring from her giant computer monitor at her.

"And? Who is the lucky person that gets to be shown around by me?"

"Behind you. His name is Artemis Fowl, from Ireland. Since you used to live there, or so it says on your record, he has been assigned the same schedule as you, and you get to help him learn our rules."

"Oh, Lucky me."

Nora turned around to face the newcomer. Artemis Fowl. She looked him up and down, taking in the suit, dark glasses and the rest. 'Hmmm…looks like somebody I know. Or knew.'

He stuck out his hand, offering it to her.

"Nice to meet you Miss…"

"Kari, Nora Kari."

She grasped his hand, shaking it.

"Do you have your planner, and all of the crap that they give to us?"

Nora said motioning for him to follow her out of the door. He had the same schedule as her, Mrs. Brashares had said. That made life easy enough.

"Yes, I have received all of the necessary documents and other items that are included in the first day packet." He said every word in a sophisticated and knowledgeable manner, as if he had tons of stuff stored inside his pale cranium.

"Cool"

Nora sat down on a low ledge outside the office, dumping her 45 lbs backpack next to her. She motioned for him to sit next to her.

"I'm Nora, but everyone calls me Nora or Dr. Kari, and I'm thirteen…and I'm in eighth grade…anddddd…um I live in Ireland for a year until… okay different story that you don't need to know.

"Well Miss Kari, as you know I am Artemis Fowl. I have no Nicknames, or whatever you call them in America. I also happen to be thirteen, and obviously in eighth grade. I live in Ireland, just my mother thought it would help me rehabilitate out here in…this place. I should already be a graduate from college, but my parents insisted that I stay in the correct grade for my age level, to associate with other people my age."

"I see… I am supposed to be a senior in high school right now, but I was only allowed to skip one grade, fourth." Was all Nora had to say?

Arty's POV

Artemis sat outside the Mariposa Middle School office, next to what he considered to be an extraordinarily beautiful girl, not your normal sort of really hot blonde chick beautiful, but the other kind. Uniquely so. She was around five feet four inches, or so Artemis estimated. She had blonde hair with thick purple streaks in it that went a little past her jawbone. She was thin, and muscular, like a soccer player. In fact, just like a soccer player. She had on a knee length red skirt with polka dots on it, and a gray tank top. In her hair was a thick blue patterned piece of fabric, acting as a headband. It went down to about the middle of her back. She had on a necklace made out of abalone shells, with matching earrings, and was wearing chestnut colored sheepskin boots. She had a round face, with red lips and large brown eyes and long black eyelashes. Artemis took this all in a glance, and thought nothing of it. Until he heard the next sentence she said.

"I see…I'm supposed to be a senior in high school right now, but I was only allowed to skip one grade, fourth."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to talk about that."

Artemis felt himself frown slightly. He wasn't used to people telling him what to talk about. Just then, a long loud beep resonated throughout the school, and students started to pour out of the classrooms and walk on to their fifth period. Nora stood up, and heaved her backpack back onto her shoulders.

"Come on, fifth period for you and me is science with Mr. Orwell. She led him through a grassy area, and up a steep hill with a faded sign that read "Power Hill" to the first classroom in the building. To Artemis, who this was the first time being in there, it did not strike him as a science classroom, but more as a large room with several desks, and extra big desk with a computer on it, a podium and a white board. That was all, no lab equipment, microscopes, sinks, workspace, or any of the other things that one expects to see in a science classroom. There were about twenty people in the room.

"Erm… Nora?"

"Please, call me Nora, I like that name a whole lot better than Nora, and I know that our room is in really bad shape, and that we have no space to conduct experiments, and all that other stuff. You know, budget cuts, because of Schwarzenager."

Artemis gaped.

"How did you know that was what I was going to ask?"

"Every new student does."

Artemis turned around to survey the classroom, and heard an annoyed sigh, and then someone pulling him backwards through the rows of desks till they reached the podium, where a man wearing glasses with close cropped gray hair was standing.

"Mr. Orwell, this is Artemis Fowl, a new student here." Said Nora.

Mr. Orwell looked down at his attendance roster, and added a new name. He smiled tiredly.

"Artemis? Isn't that a female goddess?"

Artemis felt like banging his head against the wall, a feeling he didn't get often.

"It is my father's name. It means the hunter, and it can be used for males or females."  
Nora was barely containing a smile at seeing the tall pale youth in the designer suit lecture Mr. Orwell, the tired, overworked science teacher with a head cold. Artemis was thoroughly not enjoying himself here at MMS, because everybody seemed so…uncivilized. Not at all like the big cities he left behind. But, he was stuck here, staying with some family friends, somebody that his mother had gone to college with or something. Artemis frowned mentally. He didn't seem to have paid enough attention when his mother said that he was going to stay in a little town just outside of Yosemite called El Portal. He did remember that she had said that this was the only middle school in the county, unless he had gone to the alternate education and opportunity class school, Springhill. But, he wasn't failing or anything.

"Artemis? Hello? You can sit down today, Mr. Orwell says that this can be a free period as long as we keep the noise down."

Artemis brought himself to reality and followed Nora over to where a Hawaiian girl, dressed totally in black was sitting.

"Hey Tasha, this is Artemis Fowl, new student from Ireland." Said Nora.

"Artemis…isn't that a girl's name?" said Tasha.

Artemis's nostrils flared, and he had to mentally control his urge to run over to a wall and bang his head repeatedly on it.

"It is my father's name, it means the hunter. It is a feminine or masculine name."

"I see…I'm Tasha."

Nora's POV!

Nora eyed what Artemis was wearing. A dress shirt, tie, coat, and dress pants.

"Come here a minute, Artemis. Can I call you Arty?"

Artemis glared at her.

"Please, don't tell me what to do. I can decide what I would like to do for myself. I don't care if you call me Arty, or Artemis."

Nora slid off the desk that she was sitting on and walked over to Artemis.

"Please hand me your coat." Nora said.

"Why?" said Artemis, treating Nora to his best I'm-better-than-you look.

Nora walked over to Artemis, poked him in the middle of the stomach, hard, and while he was still recovering from the painful jab that he had just received, Nora walked up to him, pulled off his dress jacket, untucked his shirt, loosened his tie, and messed up his hair

(A/N It is socially unacceptable at MMS to wear formal attire. Don't want to make life too hard on Arty.)

"What…Why…You!!!!"

"Yes, believe it or not, I just made it so more than half the population at MMS does not eat you alive because you are wearing formal attire."

Artemis frowned and pulled out his cell phone. He decided to call Butler to pick him up immediately.

"Mr. Fowl, I'm afraid that it is a school policy that nobody can have cell phones out during school. You'll have to give it to me, and you'll get it back at the end of the day." Mr. Orwell said, suddenly appearing where the three were sitting. He held out his hand, and Artemis reluctantly dropped the slim phone into his outstretched hand.

Just then, as Artemis was about to tell Mr. Orwell who he was, and that he had better give his cell phone back, a loud long beep resonated throughout the campus. Nora and Tasha heave their backpacks onto their backs and headed out the door. Artemis reluctantly followed the two, reflecting on how much he would have to tell his mother when he called home. He walked slowly down the asphalt path that lead down to the main part of the school. Why was life so different out of the criminal world? Suddenly the 13-year-old emotionless boy genius felt a pang of loneliness at not having the hulking Eurasian, Butler, his bodyguard, at his side. He found Nora storming up the path towards him.

"Why are you so slow? You better come with me. If you are who I think you are, you would probably be unconscious in the dumpster before lunch is half over. Even though you are kind of sort of dressed normal. Sorta. You have to meet all of my friends, because I think that you will probably be hanging out with us for a long time. After that, I have band practice. You can come if you like, or get a swirlie by one of the football players. Your choice."

And with that speech, the temperamental purple-haired thirteen year old turned on her heel, and walked off. Artemis hurried to keep up, and said, "Miss Kari. I think that you might not know who I am, and whom I am connected with. If you continue treating me like this, I will have to"

He was cut off by Nora who interjected, "You'll have your bodyguard remove me? Not likely. He's in Ireland still. Your mother was being optimistic when she thought that you wouldn't need protection out here."

"Oh? And how do you know this?"

Nora stared straight ahead as she walked down to a building with two classrooms in it.

"You're Artemis Fowl II, heir to the Fowl criminal empire. Or would be, if your parents hadn't decided to go straight. But, you still have some great criminal ventures to your name. Like selling the pyramids to that idiot over in Texas. That was pretty good. And you forged DaVinci's diaries and sold them on eBay, to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Don't think for a minute that I haven't researched you, ever since that incident involving…"

Nora stopped dead, a momentary look of horror crossing her face for just a second, but long enough for Artemis to see it was there. She started walking again almost immediately after she stopped, so it was like she never did. But she had stopped talking. They reached the classrooms, and Nora opened the door, which said; Room 9/10, home of the Mariposa Grizzlies Band. Inside, was a different sort of classroom. On the far side, there were desks and a white board. But on the near side, where Artemis and Nora stood was four rows of desks and music stands, and behind all of those, between the desks and music stands, was three very beaten up snare drums, a base drum, temple blocks, a conga, and a drum set.

"Welcome to the band room" said Nora. There were four other people in there already.

"Artemis, meet Jada, Era, Kara, and Anastasia. You already met Tasha Marooshi Inator."

"Pleasure." Said Artemis, glowering at every one. Jada was a medium height blonde with blonde hair and brown eyes. Kara was a small dirty blonde with greenish blue eyes, Era was a medium height brunette with green eyes, and Ani was a small brunette with blue eyes. Era and Ani were standing with electric guitars, and Jada was on a keyboard. Kara was with the percussion instruments. Nora shoved a piece of paper into Artemis's hand.

"Try to sing that. Jada will play the melody on the piano for you."

Nora ran to the back of the room, and grabbed a pair of drumsticks and sat down at the set. She tested the base and hi hat, and then gave four clicks on the high hat, and launched into a fast rock beat. Artemis looked at the piece of paper in his hand. It was a hand-written piece of music. Era and Ani kicked in with their guitars, and after about 17 measures of guitar solo, Artemis was supposed to sing. He decided to give it a try.

_Am I more than you bargained for yet_

_I've been dying to tell you_

_Anything you want to hear_

_Cause that's just who I am this week_

_Lie in the grass next to the mausoleum_

_I'm just a notch in your bedpost_

_But you're just a line in a song_

_Drop a heart, break a name_

_We're always sleeping in_

_And sleeping for the wrong team_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_Is this more than you bargained for yet_

_Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet_

_Wishing to be the friction in your jeans_

_Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him_

_I'm just a notch in your bedpost_

_But you're just a line in a song_

_Drop a heart, break a name_

_We're always sleeping in_

_And always sleeping for the wrong team_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down, down, down, down_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it_

_We're going down, down in an earlier round_

_And Sugar we're going down swinging_

_I'll be your number one with a bullet_

_A loaded god complex cock it and pull it._

Ani and Era ended it. Then there was silence. Then the bell/beep "rang" and everybody in Nora's little group/band packed up quickly. Nora stayed put, and so did Artemis, because he wanted to know how he had done.

"Well, Arty you passed the test. And that was a really good job you did singing. Do you play an instrument? Because this period is band with Mr. Harmon. I play the soprano sax."

"What test? I play the Tenor sax."

"We were testing how you worked under pressure, and how well you can sing. We've needed a male lead singer ever since I broke up with Dylan."

"Broke up with? As in boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he really changed over one summer, became a real prat."

It was at that moment that Mr. Harmon decided to notice Arty, and came over.

"Are you the new student from Ireland?"

"Yes, I am"

"Do you play an instrument"

"Yes"

"What do you play?"  
"B flat tenor saxophone"

"Do you have it with you?"

"No"

Make sure you bring it tomorrow, or I'll make you write me a 500 word essay on why you didn't bring it."

"Okay."

Nora smiled benignly as Mr. Harmon walked away.

"Ahhhh…He never changes, Mr. Harmon."

Artemis rolled his eyes.  
Band started, and Artemis had to endure 56 whole minutes of really bad music. There were a few good musicians in the band, about three people. The long beep resonated throughout the campus, and the band room was evacuated quickly. Nora headed up a steep four-foot dirt slope, with a few rocks and shrubs on it. Artemis headed after her, too dazed by the really bad music to complain. A small shriek came out of Nora as the weight of her backpack pulled her backwards, into Arty's arms. Artemis slid about a step backwards, but amazingly stayed upright. He looked down at the girl in his arms, and she looked back at him.

"Err…Artemis?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for catching me and all, but you can let go now."

Artemis reddened, and hastily released her. Nora smiled wearily, and brushed dust off of her legs.

"Let's go around the long way, shall we?"

Arty and Nora walked around the long way, to Mrs. Nioma's seventh period history class. Nora liked history, but Mrs. Nioma had paired her with a bunch of idiots. That made it harder for Nora to concentrate in History.

When they got in, Nora sat down and waved Arty on to Mrs. Nioma.

"I'm tired. You go explain your sudden and freakish presence."

Having said that, Nora fell asleep on the table. Nobody noticed. That period passed by uneventfully, because Mrs. Nioma made everyone watch the Patriot, which everybody had watched near to five times already in her class. The "bell" rang, and the classroom was evacuated. Nora woke up suddenly, and grabbed her stuff, and headed out the door. Artemis followed, thinking about the crappy movie he had just been forced to endure, for heaven's sake, the TV wasn't even flat screen!!! That made him think about how low tech this school was in general, and that made him miss his home. More than usual.

Nora glanced out of the corner of her eye at Arty, and saw him looking down at the ground, kicking up dirt with his toe.

"Hey, Arty, what's wrong?" she said softly, knowing all too well the awful feeling of homesickness. He glanced up at her and half smiled.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Everything is absolutely fine."

Nora raised her eyebrows, and continued her way onto the line of goldenrod busses. She and Arty got on bus nineteen, which would drop them off at the high school. The bus ride was slow, and uneventful.

"So, who are you staying with in the fine town of Mariposa?"

"Some lady named Fae Mikolowitz. She's a friend of my mom's, from college." Nora felt the far too familiar lump rise into her throat.

"Hey Artemis?" She choked out, "there's something I gotta tell you."

He looked at her quizzically, not understanding her behavior.

"Martha, she's dead. She had been for three months now. She was my mom." Nora then broke down completely, sobbing helplessly, now reduced to a simple person who has lost something really close to their heart. Artemis looked horrorstricken.

"Then who am I going to stay with?!" He didn't seem to have noticed the crying girl, until he looked down at her. His face softened, and he patted her back awkwardly. He knew exactly how it felt to have lost both parents. She cried. And cried. Artemis deduced from her behavior that she hadn't been able to let anybody know about her feelings, let alone let them out. She stopped crying when they reached the high school, but you could tell that she had been crying.

"I live right down here, next to the nursery. It's useless to try to pay attention to the street names, because they change them periodically. It's kind of weird."

"Right." Said Artemis, trying to ignore the reddish eyes, and the slight quaver in her voice.

He saw a small house with a small horse keeping space. The house was white with a red trim, and was definitely not as great as Fowl Manor.

"Well, here it is, and you better be happy, cuz this is where you're saying for the rest of the school year." Nora said, as if reading his thoughts.

Artemis sighed, reigning himself to the fact that this was going too harder than he thought. That night Artemis had to endure a dinner of generic boxed Kraft macaroni and cheese, salad, and ice cream. Not even any caviar.

A/N: well peoples and persons, I hope that you like. I wrote this in math class, and will continue to do so if you tell me what y'all think! Please review and have a happy Halloween and all that crap.


End file.
